reverb10 Prompt: Let Go

Prompt: Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?

I let go of the idea that I am weak.

All my life I’ve had ‘issues.’ I break bones easily. I’m sensitive. I have a heart murmur. I’m a redhead, so the dentist is a nightmare. I have synesthesia. Drugs that are fine for everyone else make me see things. I go into doctors and nine times to of ten they tell me that whatever condition I have or whatever I’m experiencing is rare. If I had a dollar for the number of times a doctor has said to me “Well, that’s unusual, but in a small percentage of the population…” It’s become a running joke between me and my husband.

But you know what? I was also in a car accident. My pelvis was fractured in two places. That doctor told me that most people who have my injuries never return to full time work. Ever. I was back in 8 months.

This year I got fed up. I decided I was tired of having every new doctor or physical therapist raise their eyebrows at my chart. I was tired of everyone saying “Well, if you want to talk about that, you’ll need to see so-and-so.” Or, “I don’t think the two are connected.” Or using the word fragile. I f*cking hate that word. I was tired of being an anomaly and being treated as weird. I’m not weird. I’m not a strange statistic. I’m not made of glass. I’m here. I’m me. I’m fine.

I went to an alternative healer. She took a full medical history and instead of raising her eyebrows or saying “wow” or anything, she nodded and said “That makes sense. I know you came to see me about your TMJ, but I think that by treating it, we can treat a number of other imbalances you are experiencing. It’s all connected, you see.”

I could have cried. I was just so grateful for that reaction. Finally, someone else who didn’t see me a s freak. Who didn’t think I was weak.

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