(For the past four years, I’ve used Reverb10 prompts to give myself a question to answer every day of December. It’s a great way to reflect on the year and set goals for the future. I’ve kept my favorite prompts, added a few from other sources like Project Reverband created my own month-and-a-bit of questions.)
Lesson Learned. What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year?
I suck at living alone. I’m a mess.
Now, this came as a huge shock. I’m an introvert, and an only child and so when things go wrong I have this fantasy in my head that it never would have happened if I was totally in charge, and in control of how the house was run because I lived alone.
Yes, on my own the laundry would always be done on time. I’d eat really well – meals I’d made myself from scratch. I’d get up early and work out. I’d end up watching less tv. I’d be this monk/yogi/Martha who’s bed was always made.
I actually had never lived alone until this year. Mom and Dad’s house to a dorm to a shared house to living with a fiancé. People are always surprised when they hear that too, possibly as I seem to be the kind of person who won’t share.
Let me reiterate it – I suck at living alone. Screw laundry. And you can forget cooking. I’ll have bread, wine and chocolate and call it dinner. Working out? Not on your life, especially since I got to bed really late and had wine for dinner. And there was so much television. As in I discovered Dr. Who and watched 7 seasons in about a month.
I am better off when I have to compromise, work with, and within a framework of other people’s needs. It helps me focus. I don’t have that fantasy any more, of being alone. It’s really nice to get ‘me’ time, but being completely left to your own devices doesn’t make you a better person. Thank you 2014 for that life lesson.
(Last year I wrote this. Which, if you read it is either funny or terrifying because it’s on the same topic. You’d think it wouldn’t take this long to learn the darn lesson!)