(For the past five years, I’ve used Reverb10 prompts to give myself a question to answer every day of December. It’s a great way to reflect on the year and set goals for the future. For 2015 I combined my love of tarot with the Reverb questions, matching my favorite questions to the 22 Major Arcana cards in the deck.)
THE STAR. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year?
I’ve started to walk around at night with no lights on. It’s a strange thing to do, and even stranger that it brings me such peace.
It started with the camping trip I took this summer. If you had to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, you had to walk outside in the dark. I’d often use my headlamp only when necessary. Always, I’d turn off my lamp outside the tent and wait for my eyes to adjust so I could get back into bed without disturbing any of my cabin-mates.
And in that moment, I could look up at the stars. More accurately, I should say in that moment I could experience the stars.
A night sky full of stars is overwhelming. I was miles away from a city of any size, so the sky was completely filled with lights dancing in an inky, vast sky. It felt like I was being pressed to earth by it. I felt like all that sparkling in the sky made a noise. All my sense were flooded and I was so small in comparison to the tiny slice of the universe I could see.
I loved it. I felt so calm. I felt the way I feel when I turn over the Star card, actually. So the question is perfect.
Now, when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, I might also go out to the living room and look out the window. It’s not the same. The fridge hums. The alleyway I can see has security lights. I don’t see stars. But the dark is familiar and I am reminded of the wonder.